{"id":7457,"date":"2019-09-29T12:25:54","date_gmt":"2019-09-29T16:25:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/?p=7457"},"modified":"2019-09-30T12:57:22","modified_gmt":"2019-09-30T16:57:22","slug":"this-is-gonna-be-a-bad-day-i-know-it-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/2019\/09\/29\/this-is-gonna-be-a-bad-day-i-know-it-myself\/","title":{"rendered":"“This is gonna be a bad day, I know it!” -Myself"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ever have one of those days that you hate being right? Well I was quite right. But yesterday wasn’t as “bad” perse in VRChat as I thought. It had things I did going wrong, crushed hopes (by VRChat’s coding), avoiding someone that I stupidly added to the group… but this morning, it got better of being with someone I still have strong feelings for (who’s not part of the group ….yet<\/em><\/span>. Only time will tell when (not ‘if’) he decides to).
\n–
\nNow what I meant by a “bad day”, actually happened from something I saw on TV IRL. On the weekends (at this time of year), there’s a 50\/50 chance to be able to watch the 6pm news on my local channels (while eating dinner). And no, as every channel was being used for college football (and the latest even one channel would have it was 7pm (which is usually when I’m done with dinner). \ud83d\ude11
\nYep, bad day! None of the group came online (made me sad \ud83d\ude41). Cola was super busy doing whatever he does, Blue was either sleeping or playing Borderlands 3<\/em> all day, and Red… there’s a chance I may never see him online ever again due to something serious going on in his life (but he occasionally comes online with his phone to say hi).
\nBut, I found ways to cope with it. The day before, I finally did what I was planning to do for a long time (but felt too embarrassed to do so)…. hot, steamy (spawnable) sex poses. \ud83d\ude05
\n
\nYes I know I’m going to the darkest pit hell for what I’ve done. “That’s ‘the big gay'” they say. But hey, in my defense, I was wearing socks, and there were no balls touching– so it wasn’t gay. \ud83d\ude1b
\nAlso, you may be wondering “WOAH!! How did he get away with posting a slightly suggestive image on Imgur?!”, because I didn’t<\/em><\/span>. That same day, I managed to reconfigure ShareX to use this website’s SFTP access (and made a folder) to upload pictures right on
\nit (which in turn, makes this website an image hoster)!! No more risk of them (and everything else ShareX auto-uploaded to them) being deleted for violating their TOU.
\nOnly downside to this, I have to use Filezilla to manually delete images off the server I don’t want anymore. But it’s a small inconvenience for the peace of mind these images aren’t being viewed by anyone outside of looking at this website (or Discord).
\nNow yesterday I was fixing the ‘doggie-style’ ones of Cola and Red to look a lot less like their spines had nearly collapsed into itself. I don’t have pictures of these sadly, as they were too ugly to show.
\n–
\nBut I ran into a problem. The day before, I had to raise them up to be ‘typical bed level’. Though due to when.. erm.. ‘field testing’ being a good way of explaining it, when looking down I was completely losing the tracking in my headset (a typical thing for WMR headsets that are in my room, with a dark brown carpet not really helping with giving it the ample light it requires to keep working). …Anyway, I made myself Best Boi-sized in Unity to hopefully counter this.
\nBut after realizing my virtual \ud83e\udd52 won’t fit (when disabling collisions on the bed) because I’m now too short, I reverted back. And by doing so, this made the poses higher than they were supposed to (and I had to re-adjust them).
\nSpeaking of my virtual \ud83c\udf46, I wanted to make it where it would appear when I also spawned in a pose. But since spawnable things have to be in the Armature (and the pickle was on the Hips), it’ll spawn but it won’t be attached. Tried to use VRC_Inventory in hopes it would combine the two different locations into one toggle animation.. fat chance as it made two<\/span> toggle animations. \ud83e\udd26\u200d\u2642\ufe0f Not helpful. Oh well.<\/p>\n

Then I had this crazy idea, but an idea I had with the body pillows, to spawn a pose and pick them up like an intractable world object. Felt these poses are technically
\nobjects, so all I have to do is add all the scripts to make them pickup-able. Made a clone backup of what I was doing and got to work on that. When I finished and was preparing to upload.. this showed up;
\n
\n…DAMNIT!! \ud83d\ude12 I knew<\/strong> it wasn’t gonna work. You can’t have an avatar act as a world. That’s why they exist. It took awhile to get over this failure, as I SO wanted it to WORK.
\nDecided to go to the movie world and watch Bettlejuice<\/em> (while spawning in three poses to make them look they were watching it with me).
\nIt felt really cool, as if they were there with me. And it sparked another idea to do something similar to the ‘Group Hug’ pose that I did. Except make this a new set of poses where they’ll be simply chilling next to me. Since I’m pretty much done with the sex
\nposing thing, why not do something more mellow that I can use even in a public world when I’m bored and lonely?
\n—
\nBut that’s not the only reason why I was there though.. I was hiding from
\nsomeone, someone that doesn’t feel the way I do. Someone in the back of my mind, I questioned if he even has feelings for me. That someone is Raymond, and I mentioned him before<\/a>. A day ago, he asked me if he could be part of the group. And I said yes (by complete accident.. without remembering that he’s not like the others who care about me).
\nYesterday, I was in the Room of the Rain (very popular hangout world due to its mirror and the video player). Was with some friends and at the time I was showing them how much I cared for Raymond to be part of the group. At that time I was perfectly fine with it.
\nI showed him the dances I did, and he questioned them. Told him “I made this where if they aren’t around, they still are in spirit”… then things went south pretty quickly with him saying how I was “joking”; pretty much questioning my sanity. I didn’t enjoy hearing
\nthat.. not from him, or from anyone. And I did my best to avoid him at all costs.<\/p>\n

And that was pretty much it for that Saturday. Now moving into this morning… I went to go see Jero who was in a public world. Going by the title of the world he was in, I thought it was some sort of movie world. Instead.. it was much different. It was based off of a manga I saw in the main movie world a long time ago (that my mother enjoys
\nwatching); Howl’s Moving Castle<\/em>. And WOW, what they did to capture the hand-painted beauty of that manga is amazing!!
\nYou can actually go inside Howl’s Moving Castle, and the interior I swear is straight from the manga! This is freakin’ awesome. Sadly though, you can’t go everywhere. There’s an exterior, but it doesn’t go anywhere else. Hopefully more will come in the future.
\nBeyond the mountains, there’s a tram that goes between two stations. If you miss the
\ntram, you can use the teleporter. This is where I found an AFK Jero, surrounded by randoms who seemed like they were defending him.
\n10 or so minutes later, the randoms leave and I’m free to be with Jero. Even while he was AFK, I stayed with him for the longest time.. remembering the past I had with him. Another reason why I stayed with him that long…. Raymond was in the world too (but he couldn’t find me). I wanted for it to stay<\/span> like that, for Jero is the only one that showed true compassion for me.
\nFluffy’s now in the world looking for me, DMing where I’m at. Told him where to go and to not let Raymond see you. Instead himself AND Raymond are on the tram coming to my location.. SHIT!! Quickly ran from Jero and hid behind a building before they showed up on the island. Saw them searching and respawned, annoyed of Fluffy thinking he didn’t listen to me. He tells me that he followed Raymond… I almost feel he told him where I was. But, meh.
\n–
\nSo, I’m back on the main island, hiding from Raymond. Pathetic, yes. But what can you do if you were in my spot and you didn’t know what to tell him (when you ‘hate being the bad guy’ by telling it like it is)!? But if I was never like this, I would had never had Jero literally run up to me while I was trying to get back to the island thinking he’s still AFK (and talked to him for a good 20 minutes).
\nI offered him a proposition: welcome him with open arms, to join my group. Said he wished he could say yes, but he’s in a relationship with one of Frost’s friends. I completely understood and wished them luck, but also said “the door is still open for you, if it doesn’t work out”. To have him (who I called “the fun version of Wuffer”) be part of the group.. I can’t even think of words to describe how happy I would be. His voice melts my heart and makes me not want to let go.
\nFluffy, and Raymond about 10 minutes later join us. I’m thinking “oh shit, what do I do?” And it’s almost as if Jero looked me in the eye and said “don’t worry Benie, I’ll handle this.” Like he read my mind, because I never told him about Raymond, and I’m glad I didn’t. He defused the situation saying everything’s fine and stuff like that. Raymond then looked at me, and I pretty much said the same thing. Sometimes you have to lie to keep order. Plus with Jero there, I didn’t want him think I’m a bad person.
\nWe went to another world and stayed there for the rest of the morning ’till it was time for me to get to bed. I wished I could had stayed with Jero forever (just to be within his loving embrace), and to give him a feeling that there’s a way out if their relationship isn’t going to work. And I feel like I left a lasting impression on him. \ud83d\udc4d Hopefully one day, he’ll come and say he wants to join the group.
\nAs for Raymond, I feel I should give him another chance. He obviously just doesn’t understand what I’ve been through.<\/p>\n

And so, there we go. I actually wouldn’t call the day “bad” by any stretch (as Jero came to my rescue). Infact, I feel this is going to be a day that isn’t going to leave my mind for awhile; felt it left a lasting impression on myself too. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ever have one of those days that you hate being right? Well I was quite right. But yesterday wasn’t as “bad” perse in VRChat as I thought. It had things I did going wrong, crushed hopes (by VRChat’s coding), avoiding … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,26,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7457","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-drama","category-love-drama","category-personal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7457","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7457"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7457\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7462,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7457\/revisions\/7462"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7457"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7457"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7457"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}