{"id":7444,"date":"2019-09-23T23:58:23","date_gmt":"2019-09-24T03:58:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/?p=7444"},"modified":"2019-09-24T16:33:45","modified_gmt":"2019-09-24T20:33:45","slug":"the-full-emotional-rollercoaster-and-you-guys-asked-for-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/2019\/09\/23\/the-full-emotional-rollercoaster-and-you-guys-asked-for-it\/","title":{"rendered":"The full emotional rollercoaster (and you guys asked for it)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Wow are you folks fast. No sooner than 10 minutes after posting the last blog post, most of you actually want the long version!
\nNow, before I start, I just want to give a quick warning: I don’t remember everything<\/span> that happened, word for word while I was on that rollercoaster; only bits and pieces. If you folks are OK with this, then I see no problem.
\nSo, let’s begin. Now this was made the day it happened, so its contents are very raw. But I never published it because it was too long (and too ‘fragmented’.. my mind was everywhere that day). This was also the day after I was dealing with Fluffy.
\n=====================
\nFirst, what’s been happening four days ago (when he was acting really strange– leaving and going to other worlds without saying or showing anything to me). And the
\ncoup-de-grace, came from when Cola found an issue with his dancer (I had forgotten to set the normal map on the other side of his avatar). I took off my headset, swearing I would fix it for him (for not seeing this before). Having that, made me feel I was ‘insulting’ him, and I wanted to make it right ASAP.
\nI fixed it and uploaded the fix. When I put my headset back on.. he was gone. I didn’t understand why. I told him I swear I would fix it immediately (for him). Yet, he does
\nthis– going to another world and not telling me anything.
\nWas getting ready to go to bed, I told him;
\nNighty night, Cola. Got your dancer fixed by the way (really wish I saw that issue a long time ago. Surprised I’ve been that blind). Love you! \ud83e\udde1\ud83d\udc8b<\/em>
\n…Not a word, since then. No response. So what the fuck<\/strong> am I supposed to THINK?!?!
\n–
\nNow, yesterday. I had just finished removing Fluffy from the group dances (and redoing the group hug thing). It was pretty late, none of the group were on. So I decided to hop on and see some friends (hoping Cola or someone else of the group would show up, and I can show them the new dance that I added).
\nBlue came on, but was in a private world (with a few others). Then later I saw him in Cards Against Humanity. I also noticed Cola was there (but I didn’t join, as I was hoping that eventually he would come to see me). I stayed with the friends for the longest time, but my patience was starting to wane and I finally went there, hoping to just watch and see if one of them were to come over and see me. The world’s been changed, there’s no longer a waiting area now with a locked door.
\nAlmost as soon as I saw them, I saw Cola leave.. actually heading to the world I was in. Uhh, the fuck<\/em>?! I.. what– ever, I guess? I hope and pray he didn’t get the bad idea that I was losing my patience waiting for him to say hi. I went back, but this time kind of pretending that I was there for a long time. I showed Cola the dances, and he liked it. Then we cuddled, and I was happy. I told him how warm I feel with him next to me, and it just felt perfect.
\nI gave him a kiss, and then he disappeared. I felt “he’s probably just getting his full-body on him and he’ll be back in about 5 or so minutes. I can wait!” So I waited, and waited, and waited… and waited. 15 minutes later, this is taking an unusually long time for someone to get their tracker straps attached to their legs.
\nI check SteamVR’s virtual desktop….. uhh. WHAT?! He’s playing ANOTHER GAME?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?! ….I…..I…. wha– did I.. is it ME?! Did I say or do something wrong?! The doubt level was through the fucking roof, at that time. I turned into a pile of depression and sadness. Checked my online list and saw Blue was in another instance of this world, and joined him (hoping he would see me and we can talk about this). But that never happened, instead it was another of my friends who wanted me to talk to them.
\nWent back, to people I felt I could trust with this (because Nigh was there, and he has helped me so many times).<\/p>\n

I was able to speak to him about this (and about what happened with myself, Fluffy and Blue). A best friend of Nigh that has been with him for 6 years, overheard what I said and felt I should had never given Fluffy a final chance; that he’s just going to “walk all over
\nme”, feeling he can “get away” by doing things like this. But I assured him that this would be the absolute final time.
\nSo he had me promise him that when he screws up again, I will block him on every form of social media. And I did. I just hope to never have to do it, but he said “give it a month or two and he’ll be right back at it”.
\n–
\nLater on, Blue DM’d me saying he was getting off (had work to do) and that he loved me. I never responded back as I was in pain of what was going on. It was then that Cola, joined the world (but ran right past me). At that time, my depression turned into
\nfrustration (and hate), saying “you had your fucking chance to be with me” and went back to my homeworld. One of the reasons, Fluffy was trying to join but I couldn’t invite him, as the instance owner of this Friends only instance isn’t friends with him.
\nInvited Fluffy to my private instance, there I told him everything; with what I was told about him, and of Cola. He understood and thanked me for giving him one last chance.
\nI then felt like I was scraping the bottom of the barrel.. when I asked him to talk to Cola for me, to have him see that my love is absolutely real for him. And I just wanted to know (at the time) if I had finally gotten him out of that shell, or I had failed to do so.
\n—
\nHe returned about 10 minutes later, and told me that Cola would join and tell me personally what’s going on, to finally settle this ‘dispute’ of my doubts with him. But
\nhe(Cola) was having issues trying to do so (or something else). It was getting very early in the morning and Fluffy said he had to go to bed (as school was soon). I let him go, and then Cola joined. Really wish I was recording at this time, as I’m not sure if every word is absolutely true or not.
\nAnd after speaking for 10 minutes (and him leaving as I really didn’t have much else to say to him), it was clear to me… that I had failed to get him out of his shell. So, my doubts were half-right; it’s not that he doesn’t love me as I love him, he can’t<\/span><\/strong> love me as I love him. He wants to, but he can’t. He’s…. incapable of showing that emotion. And it makes me
\nfeel, that I’ve failed at my mission to break him out of that shell that he says is “under heavy lock and key”, and he “can’t find the key”.
\nSo, in a way, he’s kind of like me. But instead of being stubborn of needing to change my life for the better, he’s stubborn of showing love. And you know, what’s worse? ..He told me, to “treat him as an object” to “not expect anything in return”. …I can’t<\/strong>!! That would be, degrading! It’s WRONG to think that, Cola!! An object, doesn’t have emotions! An
\nobject, isn’t alive! And he told me “I’m pretty much dead inside”. I was hoping I could break him from feeling this! When he told me I was “lovable”, I felt I finally had done it! Now, I feel I’m back at square one. What do I have to do, to prove to him that I’m not like the others (that made him like this)?!
\nThen he said: “let me give you a piece of advice.. stop trying”. That’s when I pretty much had nothing else to say, but thanked him for being honest with me. That’s when he
\nleft… didn’t know what to think afterwards.
\n=====================
\nThat was when the emotional rollercoaster started– those two words: “stop trying”. He could had taken this into a much better way, but he didn’t. And I… feel like I actually cried myself to sleep. \ud83d\ude2d
\nThe next day I told Fluffy, who was bothered by this and it was messing up his schoolwork. So I had to lie in order to protect him, saying I was fine. I waited until he got back from school to reveal that I was lying. Yet all I was doing was using Fluffy as an emotional punching bag (without him even realizing). I seriously do feel bad for it and that just added to the deep depression I was already in.
\nAs the day went by, all I could think of was how Cola just left a huge gap of where he stood when he was part of the group. And what was worse.. what the fuck do I do with his avatar? I have to… remove it from the dances. I even questioned with Red and Blue, was it even worth calling it a “group” at this point.
\nDo I.. ‘allow’ former lovers into it (since Cola’s avatar is there)? That means Fluffy could easily re-join (even though I never really loved him more than just a son).
\nI feel like I need to talk to someone, anyone about this (that would understand), but I– is it even worth it (since I can’t make up my mind)? And will I accept any alternatives (that could be even more<\/em> questionable than what I’m going through)?<\/p>\n

Much later, something snapped in my mind– a voice suddenly coming out of
\nnowhere, telling me to open up Unity and do things to express my pain. And so, I did this as the group pose…
\n
\nIt made me realize, I still got these two that love me very, very much; the ones that I was scared how they would react if they met eachother and knew that I loved both of
\nthem (and surprised me of how well they did).
\nRed Fox there, saying while giving me a huge hug: “it’s OK. We’re here for you. We love you.” And Blue, nuzzling me (as if he got VR, just to make me feel better).
\n…I was in literal tears as I was writing this at that time.
\nIt also told me, to replace Cola with… myself (to keep a 3rd dancer), saying it’s the only way to rid him from the group (and my mind). And, I will. I’m already picking 7 songs that I feel would closely describe my feelings (with a few in there, just for fun). And I thought that would help. It definitely got him off of my mind for a bit (while raging about animations ending before the song).
\nThat afternoon, I also decided to talk to Cola’s former boyfriend, Luna. Yes, the two broke up about a month ago to this day (I think). But it wasn’t how don’t love eachother, it was they felt it was best to do so, and remained as friends (…until Cola did a dick move and deleted Luna’s old avatars and told me to keep it a secret from him). Cola defends this move saying what Luna got was “superiorly better” than the skins he made for him, and felt Luna didn’t ‘need’ them anymore.. which Luna was never notified and was understandably upset. This annoyed Cola, and the two stopped speaking to eachother.
\nHowever, Luna tells me he’s still alright with Cola as a person (as he’s much more of an adult than I am). By the way, I tried to record this conversation.. but failed hardcore as I forgot to set ‘Listen to this device’ on the mic.
\nHe told me “Cola is a complicated person. His brain can be.. everywhere. It all depends on being there at the right time.” and said Cola “would come around” and I should try
\nagain… despite what Cola just told me a day ago. So he left as he really couldn’t say anything else. Before I went to bed I sent him a message stating I forgot to tell him Cola said how to ‘see’ him ‘as an object’, but he still felt I should try again. But when I asked if he was sure, his response was “idk”.
\nAsked him “If you don’t know, how would I<\/em> know?” And to this day of writing this, he never responded back with an answer (as if he knew that maybe giving up and facing reality that I’ve lost my chance when I confronted Cola, is the best option).
\n=====================
\nThe next day is when I finally uploaded the changes to the dances (having lost 3+ hours of work the night before due to Unity permafreezing over trying to post animation keyframes of trying to shorten the animation of a song). To counter that frustration, I made a AutoHotkey script that will auto-save the current active window every 5 minutes.
\nWhen testing them out ingame, the depression suddenly came back. All this felt was a desperate attempt to get rid of the pain. It did work for a bit, but it came right back. I could see Cola in the place of my avatar, and it just felt so upsetting.
\nIt then started to make me question of how in the fuck Red and Blue still love me, when neither of them have asked if I’ve been doing alright. I then removed my profile pic from Discord, not wanting to look at it again. …And of course, as I feared would happen (which is why I swore to never do it before), friends started getting concerned about me and asking “are you OK?” *sighs*<\/em>
\nOne of those, refused to get the fact they couldn’t help me (talking about RedJoker) and kept pressuring me to speak. I am NOT in the right mindset, Joker. PLEASE, for your own safety, leave me alone. He gave me ‘advice’ of joining a dating website. Not helpful, Joker. Please.. GO AWAY!! You. cannot. help me!!
\nThat evening, behind my back when I was talking to Fluffy about this, he got Aftershock involved. I was a bit upset he went behind my back, but not mad. Fluffy claimed he could help me, so I felt “fine, I’ll take all the advice I can get (as long as it’s helpful)!” I told Aftershock everything, including feeling that I feel I may’ve rushed it on Cola. But he didn’t think so, which I erased from my mind. He though, like Luna, felt I should give this another go.
\nThis was the first time I actually felt someone was getting through to me.. until I started feeling “will he(Cola) even forgive me for this?” “Is it even worth trying?” I asked him these questions, and all he could say is “you’ll find out”… that only put me back on the ride, as I would rather have Cola tell me.
\n=====================
\nNext day, I was getting more people asking what’s going on with my profile picture. I’m also starting to get bitter with my own son. As I said in the abridged version, my mental state was deteriorating every day. So he’s telling me to speak to Cola about my
\nfeelings, saying there’s always hope and to believe it.. I did believe in hope, when I thought I actually got Cola to break out of his shell by saying “I love you too!”
\n…That hope DIED horribly. Told him to (again) do it for me as I didn’t feel confident enough to risk being told no. And since I felt “this is your idea. When it fails (which it
\nwill), don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
\nThat afternoon was when I tried to clear my head of Cola and focus on checking out the new ‘Virtual Market 3’ event in VRChat. Invited Fluffy (which was the first time I got back into VR after what Cola told me), asking him to check for Cola to do the thing. The event’s pretty cool, by the way, but the ‘Hall’ world has a section where my framerate tanked to where I was getting disconnected.
\nOne such disconnect, I saw Cola was online and alerted Fluffy as I was being escorted back to my homeworld (even though I was going to go there anyway to wait for him to bring Cola there). This time (compared to the first time he tried this), Cola never responded. This to me is showing his true colors… but it also greatly upsetted me that I was actually right. I was hoping Fluffy would actually prove me
\nwrong.
\nMeanwhile, at that same time, someone else asked about my profile picture. But, it wasn’t just a friend… it was one of the group; Red Fox. I prayed he wouldn’t want to know what’s going on, but he got me talking. And you know what..? I’m glad he did. He didn’t do what Joker did. I felt, true compassion from him. I could feel my soul, feeling… warm, as in it felt it was filled with love. It was, the best feeling since what happened. He told me the facts; “we are definitely more than just friends” he said.
\nHere I was, being in the dark, feeling cold, alone, and unsure. And then I see this beam of beautiful light piercing it, going through me. I could feel my soul, being warmed with love. I actually cried from how happy it felt!! This is what I so desperately needed.
\nInfact he stayed with me when I was in my homeworld, and I was telling him what Fluffy told me about Cola, and “having hope”. ..I didn’t mean to snap at him, I really didn’t. But I DID warn him! I TOLD him, it would fail! But he held onto “hope”. There IS NO HOPE ANYMORE (with Cola)!!! IT’S OVER!!! …There is no more ‘hope’. \ud83d\ude14
\nFluffy went to bed, and I asked Red what should I do about Cola. Should I, unfriend and block him to get him out of my life? He felt that would be unwise, and said I should talk to him. Mmmm…. maybe I will. But I’m still unsure.
\nLater that day, I wanted to talk to Blue about this. He never once asked, yet I know he does love me so maybe it wasn’t intentional. Cola was there, but I did my best not to make eye contact with him. Yet what I also saw, is he looked like he was.. hiding from me. \ud83d\ude32 What the hell? I thought he hated me for what I did! …Is, there actually still an extremely small sliver of hope, desperately clinging to life?!
\nGot Blue to my homeworld and explained everything to him. And when I was done, the first thing he did was “you need a hug”. Once again I felt that warmth from someone I truly loved. He told me what Red said, but in his own way; “nomatter what you say, I’m never going to leave you. You’re stuck with me.” And I don’t mind that one bit! \ud83d\ude1a
\n=====================
\nThe next day, the VRChat servers were being DDoS’d in the afternoon by some asshat. They did catch him, only for it to restart at night (which took the same length of time for the servers to recover from it). And as for me, fueled by the love from Red and Blue, I felt this was the day I would be able to get off of this emotional rollercoaster. Told Fluffy “I feel today is going to be a great day”. I was ready to deal with this. If he won’t face Fluffy.. he’ll face me.
\nSo, I told him in a DM, saying “I think we’re both tired of these ‘childish games'”, “For months I’ve been a friend to you”, “I have the exact date when you told me I was
\n‘lovable’.”, and finally ending with “The ball is in your court, Cola. Do you walk away, or do you try with me one last time? I pray that you’ll give me another chance.”
\nAn hour passed, he.. actually responded. “I’ll give you one more chance to change me. and I think we might need to have a talk as well”. Yes, Cola. We should have a talk. From what felt like I was so pumped and ready to END this shit …then my doubts kicked into overdrive of how he said “I will give you one more chance”. That. felt. so.. ‘is it even worth going through that effort again!?’ type of thing.
\nClearly he was bothered about something<\/span><\/em>, and those words kept bothering my
\nmind.. trying to put me back on that rollercoaster. But, this is good. I actually had him respond to me since.. since this whole mess started happening (when he completely stopped talking to me). So I need to stand my ground, and face my fear of.. being put back on that rollercoaster. Finally the time to talk to Cola ingame happened, and this time I made sure I was ready for recording. But, my mind suddenly lost all that built-up confidence when I started speaking to him (which was the reason why I stuttered a
\nlot). But I cannot run away, not anymore.
\nNow I will not quote the contents of this recording (as this blog post is already too long). But all I can say is it caused even more doubts than before. But one crucial thing I must<\/em> mention is he said that he wants me<\/em> to give him<\/span> another chance.
\n…Should I even forgive him, for the hell I just endured those four days?! No longer did I feel scared or depressed, but angered. He could had STOPPED this fucking emotional rollercoaster DAYS ago, if he had used better words!!
\nThat night (before I went to bed), I very calmly expressed the pain and sadness he put me through. Yes I’m mad, but it’s not worth scaring him away. Every feeling, was laid on the table. That entire conversation, came under investigation.. all so I won’t be hurt again by him. Then I went to bed while using my phone to see if he’ll respond to it. And he
\ndid.
\nHis response somewhat surprised me. He said “I am sorry”, begging me for forgiveness of his “horrible horrible Non-existing feelings”. I asked if his words were sincere, and he said yes. So, I forgave him, finally free of that dreaded emotional rollercoaster. ..That was until he wouldn’t respond with “I love you too”, and again I questioned if I should give him another chance.
\nBack on the ride I go…
\n=====================
\nThe FINAL day, that brings us to today. Fluffy’s not that active. I try to hear him out with how he went to the doctor, but my mind was still filled with Cola.. still filled with doubting myself if it’s worth giving him another chance. Fluffy feels I should give him at least a day as he feels Cola is stressed and\/or overwhelmed of what we’ve done to him with all of these DMs.
\nStill constantly doubting myself, not really seeing what he’s telling me. To me, I seriously wish I was like Frost when it came to that conversation with Wufy (how he was patient with all of his<\/em> doubts). The guy’s been through a fuck-ton more than I have, and he was there with me when I was dealing with Wuffer.
\nA half an hour into the conversation later.. Fluffy’s words finally caused something to snap in my head, that changed everything<\/strong>. This, is when I had ENOUGH of this ride and slammed on the brakes. I..have to apologize to Cola!! I have to make this right!!
\nWhile Cola was offline, I wrote down what I wanted to say to him ingame in a .txt file. With him online much later in the evening, I had everything ready for recording and went in.
\nCola’s in a private world. I’m feeling somewhat unlikely he’ll even show up (as it’s possibly late for him). Doubts are starting to come back, but suddenly they begin to be replaced with.. “you know, I did tell him I would try to forget what happened. To tell him, would mean I’m lying to him.” And as I’m talking to myself, I turn around and– there Cola’s sitting down infront of me. OSHI– hi!! Didn’t expect you to join!
\nSo, I go over my words. And in my words, I ask him to “please think very carefully before you respond”. After I finish.. he’s at a loss for words. But I had accidentally put so much into his mind to process, and by his request I slowly explained what I’m talking
\nabout.
\nAnd wow.. SOOO much better than before!! It’s like I was talking to a new and improved Cola! And two critical things emerged from this very<\/span> productive conversation, where I’m now doubt-free (and it feels so good to get off that ride);
\n1. His shell has cracked substantially, telling me he has “no problem expressing love”. And he has possibly revealed the name that one of the two that may had hurt him in the past. And to prevent more drama, I will not reveal that name. But he said the two are “just buddies right now”.
\n2. He has revealed the source of why I’ve been having so many doubts.. the reason why he can’t fully say “I love you” to me. He told me he has a list of the requirements for him to show love, and I have surpassed in all.
\n…All but one<\/span> major<\/span><\/em> (to him) flaw, that has plagued me since the first time I dated someone this year– the age gap. He’s 21.. I’m 43. And he acts as if I should be upset by this too. But if I truly was, I.. well, I would had never formed the group, or dated anyone this year. Plus I would had never pursued wanting to show Cola my true affection for him. So, I have no problem! Hell, I made myself Bi so I wouldn’t have a problem!!
\nOne time he was nearly willing to forget about the age gap, saying everything else I’ve done is “perfect”. But, I feel that he<\/em> has to make that decision if we are to continue being more than friends, or just friends.<\/p>\n

And so, that is it! You folks asked for it, and there it is, the non-TL;DR
\nversion– completely unedited and raw.
\nI’m still waiting for him to reach a decision. It could take a few days, but hopefully not up to a month (as that would be too long). But I did tell him that nomatter what his decision is, I will still be a great friend to him.
\n—
\nEDIT: I actually don’t think I’m going to get a response out of him. And you know what…? I’m quite alright with it. \ud83d\ude0a I was with him in the morning (in that 1950’s Diner World. You know, the same Diner when I thought I had gotten him out of that shell). And just like before, it felt really magical. The music, and feeling him nuzzling next to me.. there’s just no better way to describe it, apart from true love.
\n…And looking back at all of this, brings up two things;
\n1. Luna was right (of course spending a lot of time with Cola), when he said that he “would come around”. That and how he said how Cola’s mind “is everywhere”. Especially when I had told Cola “let’s continue where we left off”. He questioned with “we.. did<\/em> at some point?”, completely forgetting when he told me to “stop trying”.
\n2. Something that I had completely overlooked (and forgotten), that Aftershock once told me when it came to Jero. He had told me to “stop seeing true love as a trophy or a
\ntitle”.. which sadly is what I was doing with Cola (to get him to say “I love you” to
\nme), using this ‘mission’ to get him to realize I’m different than the others.
\nWhen in reality, I was already doing it and not realizing.. I was being myself, which is what you’re supposed to do. The days of ‘impressing’ someone, should be gone. We’re not animals fighting for rights to breed. Our minds are far larger than theirs (thanks to evolution), and there is no need for competition to ‘win’ someone’s heart. Being yourself with who you feel is ‘the one’; this<\/em> is what wins hearts.
\nIn other words, I should had never expected him to say “I love you”. Just being with me, is enough, and it should always be that! Like what happened last night, that was perfect. Feeling him next to me, feeling that warmth of true love, is literally the same of saying “I love you” (without actually saying it).
\nAnd that is what should be my mindset about this from here on out; to be happy he wants to be with me, even though he might never say “I love you”. He does, and sometimes it’s better with actions than mere words (especially for someone like Cola who has trouble explaining his true thoughts for someone).
\n–
\nSo, I’m completely reversing what I’ve done in Unity (re-adding Cola to the group pose and his dances). It’s the right thing to do. \ud83d\udc4d As for my avatar being a dance, I’m actually going to keep it (create another clone to re-add Cola).
\nI’ve had an idea for quite sometime, of having all three of the past BTD\/BTDB models and their skins (BenieTheDragon Boi 1.0\/2.0\/and the recent BenieTheDragon 3.0 that I’ve had for months) as dancers, and maybe even having Red Boi 1.0 and 2.0 (my first custom Best Boi’s and how I learned to do a toggle animation).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Wow are you folks fast. No sooner than 10 minutes after posting the last blog post, most of you actually want the long version! Now, before I start, I just want to give a quick warning: I don’t remember everything … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,26,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7444","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-drama","category-love-drama","category-personal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7444","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7444"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7444\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7451,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7444\/revisions\/7451"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7444"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7444"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7444"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}