{"id":7092,"date":"2019-06-14T13:00:41","date_gmt":"2019-06-14T17:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/?p=7092"},"modified":"2019-06-15T13:13:41","modified_gmt":"2019-06-15T17:13:41","slug":"jero-1-ron-0-sorry-dude-yet-did-i-make-the-right-decision","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/2019\/06\/14\/jero-1-ron-0-sorry-dude-yet-did-i-make-the-right-decision\/","title":{"rendered":"Jero 1, Ron 0 (sorry dude)&#8230; yet, did I make the right decision?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/txTEhgReZUA?start=10\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><br \/>\n<em>&#8220;Did you ever have to make up your mind, to settle on one guy and leave the other behind? It&#8217;s not often easy, it&#8217;s not often kind. Did you ever have to make up your mind?&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>And I decided on Jero, because he&#8217;s extremely sweet. And honestly, the only thing that saved my hide is he doesn&#8217;t know he can read the status of a player (as I still had Ron as my lover listed). I have since changed it to him.<br \/>\nAlso he told me why he was so interested in custom avatars (even after playing for so long). Claims he hasn&#8217;t seen that many furries. And when he came to Kovo&#8217;s world, that&#8217;s when he was simply blown away by all the cool avatars he saw (especially<br \/>\nmine).<br \/>\nAnd yesterday evening in Cute&#8217;s world when nearly everyone was leaving for the night, I got Jero alone and asked him a series of questions about himself (and had him ask <em>me<\/em> some). And he&#8217;s 29 years old (making him the oldest person I&#8217;ve had a crush on in this game). And when he found out about my age, he said &#8220;age is just a number&#8221; and &#8220;there&#8217;s nothing wrong being 42 years old&#8221;. Mmmm.. I beg to differ. I&#8217;d love to be in my 20&#8217;s<br \/>\nagain, but I digress.<br \/>\nHe likes similar music to me (yet has a whole lot more variety). Though I never asked him what kind of movies does he like. Then I asked him if he was looking for someone special in his life. He said yes, that he&#8217;s been looking for a very long time. Told him how it&#8217;s been an emotional rollercoaster for me, and how he reminds me of someone I used to love. He was quite surprised to hear that. When I asked him to he honest of what he thought of<br \/>\nme, he said how I&#8217;m pretty awesome and a great friend.<br \/>\nFinally said after he cuddled me, if he feels we could start something together. And his response was &#8220;I don&#8217;t see why not&#8221; and kissed me. Immediately thought &#8220;I am sooo adding your name on my wrist with a Quantum Armband!!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8230;But now I must face Ron (in a DM as that&#8217;s the only way I can reach him), and give him the bad news. I&#8217;m sorry, I really am. But it just wasn&#8217;t going to work out for me. I want more in a relationship than just sex.<br \/>\n&#8211;<br \/>\nHe then went AFK to do something. Kovo showed up a bit later and asked if everything was OK. Told him everything&#8217;s fine. He says he&#8217;s going to his world to check on a few things, and invited me to come. Told him &#8220;as soon as Jero gets back, we&#8217;ll join&#8221;, then he left. Suddenly, WMR froze (but ended only freezing up VRChat.. thankfully). The latest SteamVR update has been fucking up my headset even more (and I wish I knew how to go back a version, without Steam forcefully updating).<br \/>\nRelaunched the game and got back in the world. As Jero&#8217;s avatar loaded in, I heard him coming back from what he was doing. Perfect timing! Told him that Kovo was here and asked if we would like to come. He said sure, so we did.<br \/>\nWell, <em>I<\/em> did. It took him several minutes until showing up. Said &#8220;hey hun!&#8221; He said &#8220;hey Benie!&#8221; ..Wait.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.imgur.com\/vKpt0qI.png\" \/><br \/>\nI&#8217;m your BF. Why are you calling me by the name floating above my avatar&#8217;s head?<br \/>\nMmm.. whatever. Let&#8217;s just go to the mirror. Joined Kovo and some of his<br \/>\nfriends, expecting them to see my new BF. Some say they already knew of the way we were acting before (when it was just friendly cuddles). And we did cuddle for awhile. But at times, he was ignoring me and talking to others. Okay, relax. He just wants to make friends. Let him do what he wants, and he&#8217;ll come back to you.. yet he never did. One time I stared right at him in a saddened expression. He saw me, then turned the other<br \/>\nway.<br \/>\nOne friend wanted to go see videos in another world, while I was sighing my head off not knowing what the hell I did wrong. Jero came up to me and said &#8220;hey Benie&#8221; again. This really felt demoralizing, but he asked if I wanted to go see the videos. I lied and said<br \/>\n&#8220;sure&#8221;, and watched them all go through the portal&#8230; I didn&#8217;t follow them.<br \/>\nBlueberry happened to be there, while I was extremely depressed. Asked him if he was going to go through the portal too, and he wasn&#8217;t sure. The portal then closed, and I decided to tell him what&#8217;s going on and how &#8220;I don&#8217;t know what to do&#8221;.<br \/>\nHe leaned over and gave me a small kiss, then told me to wait and started talking in Discord. And we talked all about it; about Ron, and about how I met Jero. He said of what he saw in Jero, that he(Jero) &#8220;looked uncomfortable and worried&#8221;. When I asked<br \/>\nBlue &#8220;well.. if he was, then why didn&#8217;t he come up and tell me what&#8217;s wrong?&#8221; Blue<br \/>\nsays &#8220;that&#8217;s hard to do for some people&#8221;. &#8230;Just like Wuffer, who couldn&#8217;t tell me what was on <em>his<\/em> mind (holding very important things from me until a later date).<br \/>\nBlue then tells me &#8220;you need to get him alone, and have him tell you what&#8217;s on his mind. Let him open up to you.&#8221; He&#8217;s right, and I&#8217;m going to do just that this evening (in my home world.. and I mean, <em>my<\/em> world. The first world I&#8217;ve made. That should (hopefully) be a perfect setting to clear his mind). And we&#8217;re going to stay there until he has no more doubts (and <em>I<\/em> know how to handle the situation).<br \/>\nI don&#8217;t. feel. Jero&#8217;s deliberately doing this. I feel Blue&#8217;s right, that he&#8217;s uncomfortable and worried about something. I just need to get him to open up (<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">if<\/span> there&#8217;s anything bugging him at all). Maybe it&#8217;s just the way he normally acts, but I <strong><em>still<\/em><\/strong> need to find out (so I know how to work with it).<br \/>\n&#8211;<br \/>\nFinally when telling him about why Jero calls me by my name instead of &#8216;hun&#8217;, Blue<br \/>\nfeels &#8220;he could just be used to calling you that&#8221;. On one end, I can understand. The<br \/>\nother.. you saw it above this.<br \/>\nI did give Blue a huge hug and thanked him, saying &#8220;you truly are a great friend&#8221;.<br \/>\nAnd &#8220;how I wish you were older, we could had made it work between us, because you are very sweet.&#8221; And he nodded.<br \/>\n5:30am rolled around. Told him I gotta get off, but I also wanted to spend time with him. Did get off eventually, starting work on a sad message for Ron that I have to break up with him. Nearly 6 in the morning&#8230; fuck. I&#8217;ll do this when the god damn Sun isn&#8217;t rising!<br \/>\n&#8212;<br \/>\nAnd that&#8217;s written and sent. I hope Ron responds in kind and doesn&#8217;t feel pissed about this. But if he is, then I can completely understand. However my decision is final. If he was online more and did more things with me, this would <strong>not<\/strong> be a problem. I would happily stay with him! Sadly.. it didn&#8217;t happen the way I wanted it to. And I&#8217;m pretty sure I&#8217;m not alone in feeling this.<\/p>\n<p>EDIT: Ron responded as I was coming back from Burger King (saw his message on my phone), and surprisingly took it quite well. Though he blames himself for what happened with our relationship (saying his anti-social was getting in the way), adding he doesn&#8217;t even socialize with his family.<br \/>\nHis family doesn&#8217;t know he&#8217;s bi, especially his father. He says if his father had found out about us being in a relationship, he would &#8220;legitimately&#8221; rip Ron&#8217;s head off.<br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"irc_mi\" src=\"https:\/\/i.kym-cdn.com\/photos\/images\/original\/001\/428\/736\/7a8.jpg\" alt=\"Image result for OOF 100\" width=\"264\" height=\"114\" data-iml=\"1560554917139\" \/><br \/>\nWell it&#8217;s a good thing I ended it before it went too far, then! And as for the rest, he apologizes for not spending more time with me, and says that he never once saw me as nothing more than a &#8216;sex toy&#8217;. I am very glad to hear that.<br \/>\nAfter what has happened in this past 24 hours, I thank you for taking the news well, and having no intention to commit suicide over this (which was one of my biggest fears of breaking up with him).<br \/>\nHowever, he wishes to &#8220;talk this out and come up with a solution that helps us both<br \/>\nout&#8221; later tonight. Uhh. I <em>did<\/em> tell you I found another, right? Pretty sure I did. What I could do is &#8216;pencil him in&#8217; to either talk before or after I talk to Jero (depending on who gets online first).<br \/>\nFinally I told him that he is &#8220;more than welcome to join our SE server at anytime&#8221; and would gladly stay friends with him.<br \/>\nSo now, all I have to do is deal with Jero. Hopefully it too will be as easy as it was here. And I feel it will, as he told me that I can ask him anything. So look for a second edit once I&#8217;m done (or it might come tomorrow, depending on what happens). Meanwhile, I&#8217;m going to be working on my avatars in Unity to make a &#8216;modified&#8217; version of the original No Visuals style, and also have a Dutchie size one (to be his height ingame).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Did you ever have to make up your mind, to settle on one guy and leave the other behind? It&#8217;s not often easy, it&#8217;s not often kind. Did you ever have to make up your mind?&#8221; And I decided on &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/2019\/06\/14\/jero-1-ron-0-sorry-dude-yet-did-i-make-the-right-decision\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,26,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7092","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-drama","category-love-drama","category-personal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7092","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7092"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7092\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7095,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7092\/revisions\/7095"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7092"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7092"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7092"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}