{"id":6685,"date":"2019-03-29T12:30:07","date_gmt":"2019-03-29T16:30:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/?p=6685"},"modified":"2019-04-01T13:14:07","modified_gmt":"2019-04-01T17:14:07","slug":"wuffers-past-is-revealed-this-was-my-fault","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/benies-blogs.com\/general\/2019\/03\/29\/wuffers-past-is-revealed-this-was-my-fault\/","title":{"rendered":"Wuffer’s past is revealed \/ This was my fault"},"content":{"rendered":"

I loved him. I cared for him. He told me “nothing will ever stop not making me love you”.
\nAnd what does he do…? He dumps me for rushing into this, and for ‘turning Bi’ for him.
\nSo he lied to me (but he did<\/em> apologize multiple times). Knew it wasn’t going to
\nlast, though. And also, I feel more responsible for most of this, and feel this is something I will never<\/span> be able to move on from (until I talk to him).
\nAt the time I’m writing this, this seems very<\/span> unlikely. When he broke the news that
\nnight, was literally the only time he was willing to ‘work it out between us’; offering to try this all over again, just take it slow. He said he would go anywhere to be with me IRL. But I refused, because I just couldn’t do it. I wished he rephrased it better, saying “we can still be friends” without ever mentioning wanting to restart it.
\nBut, if I really wanted to have this work out (even if we restarted this slower), then why did I tell him I wanted the relationship to remain in VRChat? When I knew I needed him, why did I say that? …Why? That is the reason why he stopped talking to me, but it’s not<\/em> the sole reason why I can never move on from this… and even at that, it’s his own fault for not reading this part in my paragraph!
\n–
\nThe sole reason (from what I’m gathering) why I can never move on from this, is because I ‘turned bi’ (when I’m actually straight). I was essentially lying to him, over desperation of wanting to feel loved. However, the reason why Ren was mad at me (and still kind of
\nis), is for not telling Wuffer beforehand<\/em> that I’m actually straight and have been all my life.
\nThough, I almost swore I did when I first met him, but my memory is so foggy of that conversation that I’m not going to use it to defend this action.
\nI can definitely see why he would be mad.. I’m mad at myself for not telling Wuffer. There’s no excuse to that. It’s called being truthful, and I failed to. I guess.. I thought I would be ‘OK’ trying to be bi, and tried my best to tolerate it… my. desperation to feel loved, knows no bounds.
\n