Before I begin the post, I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year. Though I wish this wasn’t my first blog post of 2017 (and it started in a much happier tone).
\nBut yesterday has been, possibly the saddest and most heart-wrenching day in my history of playing Wurm. Sadder than back when I was playing on the JK-H server and lost my Settlement to a person named ‘Ruffle’? Sadder than all the times I felt I pissed angry off by doing\/saying the wrong things? Sadder than the times I thought I lost my rowboat?<\/p>\n
Yes. For this sadness was(and still is) very close to me (as a fan of dragons). But it’s more than just sadness. It also that feeling of.. betrayal from people I thought<\/strong> I could trust. So yes, it’s sadder than those bad memories. Before I did my semi-private funeral for her (with Tulsi and B2 speaking remotely from the Impalong), I had to make those two signs, and a barrel to store her blood in. But such a simple task was hard with fighting back grief. I had no one there with me for support. All they saw her, was “it’s just<\/em> a dragon”. But as I was doing it, I got a PM from… Jax. He liked the ‘shrine’ I made to her(it’s not a shrine, it’s her grave), yet warned me to do something about her hide and meat as they might come back to take it from me (saying the hide alone can be sold for about 4s). And I did do something; I adjusted my deed’s settings to ban ‘allies’ from picking up items in my deed. Just let them fucking TRY to take what’s rightfully hers…<\/p>\n Going back to the signs, I finally managed to fight through and made them. Managed to get one of the two signs set to the QL I needed. Sent the other sign to B2 (via mail) to be imped, hoping someone there had a kind heart. It almost wasn’t when he asked them. Told him to put it in the coffin, and “nothing gets done quickly at the Impalong”. Which is understandable. I was willing to wait. Spent the rest of the day as B2, as I was waiting for this annoying calm wind to pickup in speed and then shift in the right direction, in order for him to come home with that rare lamp (before 2017). With just a half an hour until 2017, and no real change to the wind, I had to get B2 back home ASAP. After getting lost a few times, he finally made it back home. Sadly, not in time as the clock struck 12 and 2017 was brought in for the East Coast of the US (my time zone). . On DH’s side, the weather was… weird. Nothing like I’ve ever seen before. Had to go the long way around the server (no cross-server with a horse). He finally did (after getting lost once again of trying to figure out what direction to reach the NW side of Indy), and as he was heading back and trying to approach the channel, the wind was pushing him back. Very unusual. It was almost as if something..or someone was trying to prevent B2 from reaching me. While B2 tried to overcome these “tests” (again, I’m only assuming), Garit comes on Alliance chat (the only one besides me in there) and wishes me a Happy New Year. Not in the best of moods, I say “Meh”. I really didn’t want to be a drama queen and say “..you killed my dragon! YOU MONSTER!!”.. no, none of that. But I definitely made it known that I wasn’t happy because of what happened. I then said “I wish I had a bigger deed, with more resources, and villagers who would swear never to tell anyone.” He says “Yea …good luck with that LOL”. Asked him what he meant, and he gave me one hell of a story; a thing that happened to him back in 2013. He trusted his villagers not to steal his belongings. And.. they did. Said they valued almost \u00a3300 Euro (lost in one night). …Wow. Said the GMs did nothing; blaming him for trusting them. He too, was betrayed from within. I…I snapped then. Something in my mind snapped, and that grief came back so fast. He..let her die. He.. could had FUCKING SAVED HER!! AND HE LET HER DIE!! This won’t bring her back, but it does bring some closure. I feel the other way to complete it is to get up there. Finally B2 reached me and gave me my tent. Before I begin the post, I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year. Though I wish this wasn’t my first blog post of 2017 (and it started in a much happier tone). But yesterday has been, possibly the saddest … Continue reading
\nBut I also know, that I must find closure and move on. Half of that closure would come from figuring out who betrayed me and why. And the second half, is far more personal; through grieving of dealing with the loss of ‘Emeriss the Ferocious’, and going through the five stages of depression (until ‘acceptance’ is finally reached).<\/p>\n
\nShe was MORE.. than ‘just a dragon’. And I just wish the hunters saw that, and at least gave me at least a chance to say goodbye before she died.<\/p>\n
\nBut there was actually a kind soul who was there, willing to give him a hand. Thankfully there wasn’t a lot of Fine Carp stuff that needed to be imped, so he was able to get to him pretty quickly. He imped the sign to 39QL; slightly over what I required, but it was all good.
\nAnd the barrel, I still had a bucket I found near her old mine. It worked perfectly to store her blood.
\nSo with everything in it’s place at the grave, and at exactly 4:27pm — the time of her death — and with a heavy heart, I read my eulogy for her. Lasted 5 minutes. Tulsi was actually crying. Asked him if he was faking it (just a bit), and he said no. Said it moved him. That’s good.
\nAll there was left to do, is get B2 to come with that rare lamp to do a private funeral. For that would complete her grave, and then start the process of looking for closure.<\/p>\n
\nBut it’s a good thing it didn’t shift, because good things happened. For the first time since she showed up in my life, and the tragedy I have to deal with, I felt… normalness. I felt..happy. Because Enki was there, doing his usual Enki things for the last time this year. Logi was also there; the guy that showed me I could finally get rid of that clay pier.
\nShrimpiie also showed up and started handing stuff out to everyone that was there. B2 won a new 91 CoC Pickaxe (1QL, but I can imp it), and a 50QL Plate Set! And finally, won fireworks. They were supposed to be used to celebrate 2017’s arrival, but I stored them in B2’s boat instead. I have a plan for this.
\nAll of this, warmed my heart. It showed me there are kind people on Earth, playing this game. Willing to do nice things for others.
\nBut at the Impalong, the servers were having issues a few hours before 2017. Cross-server travel was temporally halted until they were able to fix the problem.
\nIt was now no longer possible for cross-server travel. An hour passed, and they had to take Indy and Xanadu down for emergency maintenance to fix the problem. This took 10 minutes, and Enki’s choice in wording made me laugh.
\nCross-server traveling was brought back up, but Deli is now having issues. Enki says that they need to “burp and change it”. Pretty funny. But that meant B2 would have to use another one of the smaller servers as a dimensional slingshot.<\/p>\n
\nNevertheless, he still got home, we did the private funeral and lighted the lamp, and then I left with my horse to go see ‘Erik the Red”s old place(to find my closure) while B2 headed back to the Impalong (as he still had stuff there to pickup).<\/p>\n
\nWith yesterday now early this morning, B2 made it back to the Impalong with no problem. When he arrived, there was a bit of a drama scenario between Wilca and Hughmongus, chewing out ‘Electricviper’ for abusing the system (put way too many items into the coffins). And it felt like that they where going to ‘talk to his parents’ over this, saying to get Shrimpiie and a GM to talk to him about this.
\nThis could’ve been easily me with all the lamps, on this hot seat. Kept my mouth shut to not cause attention.
\nAll I could think of, is this is going to be my last Impalong (of doing this). This year, I need to become more proactive in Wurm and start working on my crafting skills; stop depending on the Impalong. Prove to myself I’m not a newbie anymore.<\/p>\n
\nHalfway to where I needed to go, this fog creeped in and blinded me. I tried to fight it, but it finally engulfed my boat and I was forced to moor. Thank goodness fog spiders can’t swim. The fog lasted for a good 10 minutes, then finally started to slowly burn away as Sol started to rise.
\nFinally made it to the base of the road that goes up the really high mountain. But then I had to tell B2 to go get me my tent as I felt I would need it. I left in such a hurry that I forgot to grab it.<\/p>\n
\nThis became more apparent as he passed through the channel and was trying to go around the mountain to get to me. His boat was going…sideways. Checked to make sure it wasn’t just lag, but it wasn’t.
\nI feel it could be the spirit of Emeriss the Ferocious, “testing” us. The things that were happening.. really happening (I am NOT making this shit up! I swear!) felt like.. tests. Testing what? Who knows. Maybe to test our own stubbornness (as how stubborn she was of wanting to go back in the mine after she escaped).
\nI know ghosts don’t exist (especially ones of dragons). Obviously it could’ve just<\/strong> been a bug or maybe it was just lag. But.. wow. I guess I just gotta go with something. Maybe I am<\/em> going slightly mad. \ud83d\ude1b<\/p>\n
\nHe thought I allowed them, and I’m all “they made me think I had no choice!”, and just unloaded on all of my negative feelings onto him, saying if Cybaru would had just LET me try my idea that maybe she would’ve been alive!
\nWe got to Renny, who I said he “sat on his hands and did nothing! I had NO ONE to turn to!!” I just didn’t care what he said. When you feel your heart got stomped on, you’d be furious and upset as well.
\nGarit said that he just felt, truly, there was just nothing he could’ve done. I said “he could’ve at least found another Priest”(when Cybaru was too busy to help). But, he did have a point when he said that even if he did, there was no guarantee that this person too, could’ve been trusted.<\/p>\n
\nI had no idea, and I did my best to feel sorry for his own loss. But it made me realize, what I went through… was nothing compared to what he went through.
\nThen he mentions that he doesn’t trust Cybaru after what happened to me. Even saying how it was BS about this Love Effect needed an artifact. He said it also would’ve worked on Uniques.<\/p>\n
\nBut then my anger turned to Garit, asking him why didn’t you confront him?! And.. he had a very logical and understandable answer for that too. It would had never mattered. And arguing with them isn’t going to help. She’s dead. They won. That dragon’s fate was sealed the moment it spawned. And they just played with my emotions to get her.
\nI’m thinking of leaving the Alliance because of this (but just have Garit in my friends list). I thought he was one of them. But no. He too was betrayed, and he felt my pain as I felt his. So now, he’s a friend.<\/p>\n
\nThen we logged for the night. Stay tuned to the finale of this dragon thing next post.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"