My parents say I have no hope in life. That I will never be the goat I’m supposed to be. But what’s the purpose of being a goat? All I do is eat, shit, and constantly say “baaah” like I’m some kind of sheep.<\/p>\n
I’m no ordinary goat. I don’t get insurance bills or even die for blowing up gas stations and headbutting you while breaking through your window. And that dent in your car? You’re welcome.
\nAnd how I do enjoy licking you and carrying you into a passing car, just to see how far you’ll fly away. And speaking of flying, I got that covered. I just have to find something to propel me skyward like a jetpack or a firework.<\/p>\n
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\nWhen I first played this game, I was hoping to get the same “AHAHAHAHA THAT GUY’S HEAD IS SPAZING OUT LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!11!!11!!!” from videos I’ve seen on YouTube, but I didn’t. I found headbutting people off the pier and watching them drown, getting old fast.<\/p>\n
I also found getting these powers, then losing them after transitioning, very annoying. And also when people get back up and reset to what they were doing, not even noticing a mad goat who just ran through the crowd kicking everyone in the ass. Just felt no point to playing.
\nBut the silliness, comes from mods, or “Mutators” as they’re called in the game, which are your powers. But you also can play as a goat-like creature. Such as my favorite, the Classy Goat. You become a Penguin who’s also a goat, and the walking is quite funny. And it’s quite hilarious in the carnival area of the city level, jumping up and being all “$27.50 for a bag of chips?!” and kick her in the face.
\nBut the kick is even more hilarious. It’s like a roundhouse kick with your fins swinging. Quite funny in a crowd. Just do that move and take out the entire crowd.<\/p>\n
Down to the brass facts here, if you’re looking for a game that has a purpose, a story… don’t get this game. You will be very<\/em> disappointed if you do. But if you want a silly, do whatever the fuck you feel game that even awards you when you crash it, get this game, as you will not<\/strong> be disappointed. Who am I in this? I’ve seen reviews of the game, and I think it’s better than Hearthfire for Skyrim. Yes, I said it. Goat Simulator is a fun fuck with game. You can set goals for yourself, like get all of those golden goat statues around the two maps. Getting them unlocks more mutators. My parents say I have no hope in life. That I will never be the goat I’m supposed to be. But what’s the purpose of being a goat? All I do is eat, shit, and constantly say “baaah” like I’m … Continue reading
\nLooking on the Steam Forum for this game, the “Should I get this” thread has two sides; ones that like the game, and ones that think it’s made for people with no IQ who are too stupid to realize it’s a piece of shit.<\/p>\n
\nIt’s sort of like Just Cause 2 (after completing the questline), except without parachutes, weapons, helicopters, controllable speedboats, planes, and a grappling hook(which makes that game more fun). You got time trials, areas for multiplayer fun, racing… pretty much the same concept (as in, you fuck around the world and have fun), except you’re a goat instead of a guy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"